introducing: a world of my own

bird·song noun

/ˈbərdˌsôNG,ˈbərdˌsäNG/
the musical vocalizations of a bird or birds, typically uttered by a male songbird in characteristic bursts or phrases for territorial purposes

This is a space to share my songs.

To meander away from Instagram, I’ve decided to start a blog. There are no rules. I will post what I want when I want because I want to. This will be an extension of the things that surface in my brain- my interests, feelings, thoughts, passions, and so on. I want this space to feel automatic rather than forced. What’s silly is I tried to start this “blog” (we were hoping to create a publication of some sort) years ago with my ex but it came to a halt and eventually the relationship did as well. We brainstormed….made graphics….word webs. The whole thing. Here I am now. Doing it on my own- liberated with a sense of autonomy and positive self-worth which is something I lacked before.

The last few years of my life have brought immense change and transformation. Of course- this is how life goes. Things happen and we go through experiences that shape our future selves, building resiliency and a personalized armor that we get to proudly wear. In 2023, I moved to Athens, Georgia from Washington D.C. for a plethora of reasons. Ultimately- my long-term partner and I split and my dad’s illness caused by alcoholism worsened. His hospital visits became more frequent and I was tired of making last-minute flights to get to the hospital in case it was time to say goodbye. I wanted to be closer to my family.

I have found myself in Athens, Georgia. I didn’t realize what I was chasing in the city would be found in a small town. I craved community in music and the arts- which all of these cities I’ve lived (Savannah, Atlanta, D.C.) did have- but there’s something magical about Athens. Since moving here I’ve reconnected with old friends from years past and made new friendships that I’m sure will last a lifetime.

There is something so special about going to a restaurant alone, knowing that chances are you will run into at least one person you know- whether it is a close friend or not- and creating a moment of newness and spontaneity. I find myself at Hi-Lo, where I am as I write this, hanging out with an old friend from high school. We’ve been catching up and enjoying each other’s company. I told her I’m starting a blog. Here it is.

The last few days I’ve been emotional. I don’t cry often but had a cathartic and much-needed release yesterday. I am on anti-depressants and as a result, it makes it hard for me to cry. I can’t pinpoint exactly why I did. It was an amalgamation of the state of our country, the grief I’m experiencing, and the expectations that I hold for myself that I’m simply not meeting (which I am aware are honestly unattainable). It was everything all at once. I feel like I am constantly disappointed while also being so full of hope and love. A juxtaposition that doesn’t make sense. I experienced catharsis and have come out feeling new- even though the deep sadness still lingers.

In an attempt to feel better today, I went to the botanical gardens to get some fresh air. I walked around and felt the sun on my face. I was intentional with my movements, trying to take in the beauty that surrounded me. It helped. The aroma in the conservatory is medicine in itself. I am thankful to have access to something so beautiful.

Here I am now, about to do some ceramic hand-building with my longtime friend, Caroline. I hope to make a little creature. Working with my hands has brought comfort to me since I was a child. You are forced to lock into the moment, the movement, the creation.